Ariel's Surprise

Fred and I received a surprise visit from Ariel yesterday. She calls every other day or so, usually on her way home from work, but we don't get to see her that often. She's busy, we're busy, we live more than an hour from each other...I actually hadn't seen her since her brother's wedding almost six weeks ago. Wow, has it really been six weeks? Yes, it has. I've been in a fog since that night; empty nest syndrome is real and debilitating. But yesterday was good for me. In spite of the groundhog's dire prediction of six more wintry weeks, we reached 70 degrees for the second time in a few days. I forced myself away from the computer long enough to go to HG Hills for pork cutlets and turnip greens, did three loads of laundry, stripped beds, dusted and Windexed, got the greens washed and cooking with some pork neck bones, and then retreated into the basement, where I began an attempt to create order out of the Christmas chaos Fred had left for me. What a mess! I tried to start with the ornaments, but quickly realized I first needed to get the large pieces out of the way. Trees in boxes: done. Large Santas and snowmen stowed inside JC Penney and Disney Store bags: done. Snowglobes back in styrofoam protected original containers: done. Hallmark animated snowmen and various stuffed gingerbread men, penguins, Santas and Mrs. Clauses, and red-scarved kitties and ducks (yes, ducks) in large Rubbermaid totes: done. I was working on this last when Ariel called, suggesting she might come over for the evening. "What's up?" I immediately said. "Oh, nothing, really," she replied. "Eric's working late and all my friends are busy, and I haven't seen you guys in a while, so I just thought it'd be a good time to visit." (Note: Ariel uses phrases like 'you guys,' instead of her native 'y'all;' she refuses to associate herself with the likes of Southern hicks and has even taken on an accent that can best be described as 'American Proper Generic:' definitely American, but indistinguishable as to discern any particular area of the country.) "Great!" I told her. Fred was just getting home, and we were both thrilled with the promise of her imminent visit. "We'll have to go out somewhere for supper, though," I told Fred. "I'm cooking turnip greens and neck bones and pork cutlets; I'll have to put that back and we'll have it tomorrow." (Ariel is a strict vegetarian.) Fred was immediately outraged: "Don't you have anything else you can fix? We need to be saving money; I wanta pay off this house." This has become Fred's mantra: I wanta pay off this house. Years ago, when I started paying extra every month on the mortgage, he thought it a wasted effort; now, he looks at our balance and sees it as something we will be able to pay off possibly this year. And, of course, NOW it was HIS idea all along to send in extra on the payment every month.

Fred.

I quickly assured him dinner would cost us nothing. I had two gift cards to Chili's, and I knew Ariel loved Chili's. Fred and I had never been. You may recall that Fred is not one who appreciates anything remotely resembling fine dining - fine dining being a category above Golden Corral - and he and I have clashed more than once over his...thriftiness. These Chili's gift cards had been given to me for my birthday, months ago, and this would be the perfect opportunity to use them. I reached a stopping point in the basement and got cleaned up and dressed just before Ariel arrived.

We made conversation for a few minutes about her first grade class; she had posted a comment on her Facebook page about one of her cute little girls, and I wanted further details. Facebook is something I have just gotten into, and I am already regretting it: another addictive website. Ariel thinks it kinda creepy that her mom is one of her Facebook Friends. She had also posted a 'status report' about the UNFORGETTABLE Sunday she had spent at the zoo. "What made your zoo day so unforgettable?" I asked, casually. "Well," she said, "the weather was perfect. We went backwards, ending with the elephants, instead of starting with them. And when we got to the elephants, [The elephants are Ariel's favorites,] Eric kinda pulled me away, because there were a LOT of kids around, and he held out his hand, and this was in it." She held out her own hand, and there it was: an engagement ring! A white gold, quarter carat, sparkling, diamond engagement ring! "OHMYGOD!" I said, giving her a quick hug and kiss. "OHMYGOD!! Details, details!" She proceeded to tell me about how the zoo had been the place of their first date, and how romantic it had been for Eric to take her back there for the proposal; about how Eric had apparently been making more money than she had thought; about how he had been paying on this ring since November; (He went to Jareds!); about how she didn't want me to find out on Facebook, thus the impromptu visit.

Fred, in the meantime, had grown very uncharacteristically quiet.

I asked Ariel about wedding details. Nothing yet. Well, we have to start planning soon, I told her. She had previously talked about something very casual: maybe backyard, or beach, absolutely nothing overblown; her entire wedding and reception probably wouldn't cost $2000. Which is a good thing, because Fred is...thrifty, remember? I recall about three or four years ago, when Fred and I had attended the wedding of a friend of Charming and Ariel who had become like one of our own children; as we had waited in the church for the ceremony to begin, he had complained about the formality of the whole event, and I had told him that we would be facing this with our own children in the not-too-distant future; he had better get used to it. "They just need to go to the justice of the peace; they don't need anything like this," he had said. I had told him that Ariel, in particular, would WANT a real wedding, and it would be our responsibility, as the parents of the bride, to pay for it. "I ain't payin' no thousand dollars for a weddin'!" Fred had exclaimed.

A thousand dollars? Poor, poor Fred. He just has no idea...

We discussed a few possibilities. Outdoors would be Ariel's preference, but tents, in case of rain, were so expensive. She had thought about a park, but Eric and his family would want an open bar, and she wasn't sure about alcohol in a public park. Uh, oh, I thought, open bar? That sounds expensive. Flowers? Of course, LOTS of flowers; she talked about an idea she had seen on a wedding tv show for hot pink rose arrangements. Summer was so hot; maybe fall would be good. But there's a good chance of rain in the fall. And she would like to have Calypso Cafe cater the reception. Catering? I stole a glance at Fred. He was not looking happy. The first words he spoke in several minutes were, "You don't need to get married this year; I wanta pay off this house." He then proceeded to give her the spiel about going to the justice of the peace. "Don't you need to go shower and get dressed to go out to eat?" I asked him pseudo-sweetly.

Chili's was good, but I filled up on the chips and salsa and had to bring almost all of my steak and potatoes home. Fred tried a different strategy once there: didn't she think, since she was doomed to a teacher's salary forever, that she needed to marry a rich man? Like maybe that nice doctor she had seen at the Minute Clinic last week? "I met him for five minutes; I thought he was nice and knowledgeable," she told him. "I don't want to MARRY him." "Well, there are plenty more doctors out there," Fred tried. "It's generally considered courteous to marry the man who gave you the ring," I told Fred, with a look that said shut-up-and-let-her-have-this-moment. He refused to heed my implied warning. "It's not that I don't like Eric - I do," he said. "But, dud'n it just make more sense that if you're gonna put up with a man, you put up with one who makes a lot of money?" I had to remind Fred that if I had thought along those lines years ago, he and I would have never married.

Fortunately, we got Fred started in a different direction: doctor talk led to House talk. House is Fred's favorite tv show. Ariel recommended it to us a couple of years ago; she told Fred that Dr. House reminded her of him. After viewing it a couple of times and LOVING it, he asked her why she thought House was so much like him - was it because he's so smart? No. Was it because he's always right? No. Was it because he has a good sense of humor? Not exactly. Well, what was it? Hmmm...she somehow just couldn't QUITE put her finger on it. He apparently was satisfied with his own presumptions. Now, he never misses an episode of House, and, if he can work House into a conversation, well, you can just forget about whatever else you were talking about, coz it's gonna be ALL HOUSE from that point on.

So, we rode home, halfway listening to Fred talk about his favorite episodes of House. Ariel had to leave as soon as we got home; she had a drive of more than an hour to get back to her house, and school the next day. I told her again how happy I was for her, and Fred told her again that she needed to think about a rich doctor.

Fred.

Congratulations, my darling daughter.