Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Ariel's Wedding, Part IV, Making the Most of Spring Break

$1,032. One THOUSAND thirty two dollars. Everybody Fred talked to on the phone for the next week heard about that $1,032 wedding dress and about how he was going broke paying for this wedding. And we had only just begun.

Fred and I met Ariel and Belle on Monday at Calypso Cafe, near downtown Nashville, for lunch and a taste test. It's a tiny little establishment, within walking distance of Nashville's faithful replica of the Parthenon, and perfectly reflects my preconceived image: very artsy, almost bohemian, and crowded with lots of college kids and a fair sprinkling of hurried business folk. Our waiter brought us a platter with a sampling of their sides, and we each ordered a different entree: salads for the girls, rotisserie chicken for me, and a burger and fries for Fred. (That should come as no surprise whatsoever to any of you who've grown to know us. Fred almost always get a hamburger, and I almost always get chicken. Honestly, I think I could go vegetarian...if they'd reclassify chicken as a vegetable.) The food was good for the most part; the St. Lucian rice and the spiced sweet potatoes with coconut were terrific, but the Martinique Callaloo, mustard greens cooked with tomatoes and onions, was WEIRD. Just plain weird, I'm telling you. Maybe that's the way they eat their greens in the Caribbean, but I'm a good ole Southern girl, and here in the South, we eat our greens with plenty of pot likker flavored with pork neck bones, and we soak up that pot likker with wedges of buttermilk cornbread, not the coconut cornbread muffins they have at Calypso. But, all in all, pretty good. And the price is definitely right.

Ariel already had an idea of what she wanted to serve at the reception, and the taste test confirmed the menu with very little change: rotisserie chicken, tossed salad, cole slaw, black beans, the St. Lucian rice, those weird mustard greens, the delicious sweet potatoes, and the coconut cornbread muffins.

We're Southerners. We eat.

"Honey, this is just good generic cole slaw," I told her. "We can pick up two or three big tubs of it somewhere else and save a lot of money. And I can make a huge salad for a little bit of nuthin' with a few of those big containers of salad greens from Sam's." "Okay," Ariel agreed, "but I think we should stick with Calypso for the other sides." "Sure," I said, nodding, "but the chicken; we can get rotisserie chickens a lot cheaper than this at Sam's." She considered it quickly, then reasoned that we should let Calypso handle the chicken - no time for running across town to Sam's and cutting up hot chickens at the last minute. Of course, I said, she was absolutely right. And we discovered that Calypso would also supply plates and cutlery! What kind...? I wondered. Turned out it was Chinet paper plates and white plastic cutlery. No thanks, not for a wedding. We'd supply our own. Ditto for the chafing dishes: I have one of my own, and I could borrow several more from my best friend.

We left Nashville and headed for Clarksville. Our first stop was Party One Superstore, where I had bought some great clear plastic plates three years ago for Charming's senior recital reception. They were strong, sturdy, nice looking, and reasonably priced. We agreed that we needed the ten inch plates for dinner and seven inch for dessert. Said Fred: "I thought Calypso Cafe was supplying the plates." "They're Chinet," I said briefly, feeling that was enough of an explanation. "So?" he asked, "What's wrong with Chinet?" I would try later to impress on him the importance of something with just a tad bit more class. "Whad'ya think of these forks?" I asked Ariel, showing her some clear heavy duty plastic. "Ummm...yeah, those are fine," she said, and I scribbled down the price, sure that I could beat it at Kroger. Belle called from farther down the aisle, where she had found some looks-like-silver plastic cutlery. It amazingly really does look like real silverware. This gave me an idea... Hmmm... Wonder what the price of renting real silver would be? Party One has a wedding rental service, everything from linens to china and silver to arches and even tuxedos. The friendly manager dropped what he was doing and talked with us extensively. Linens? He could get us the round and banquet tablecloths in white or black for $12 each, but ivory would be $18. Cutlery and china...? No, Ariel and Fred both said; we don't want to be washing dishes halfway into the morning. Oh, alriiiiight, I conceded. (I'll work on that later.) I noted prices of everything in the folder I had brought along. What a great idea, to take my handy dandy folder along everywhere we went, keeping track of all possibilities and expenditures and making numerous notations any time I had a brainstorm. Alas, that folder has gone by the wayside: I somehow just couldn't buoy enough enthusiasm for that plain seventeen-cent black folder; it has since been replaced by one of those fancy Wilton wedding planner albums, with tabbed dividers and helpful hints and preprinted pages for notes and a sweet blue satin ribbon to bind the whole business together. It's perfect; so perfect, in fact, that I hate to mess it up with my sloppy scrawl and the little nonsensical doodles that are the hallmark of my idea pages. So what did I do? I pried open the steel rings that hold the thing together and added pages of notebook paper to each section. That way I can keep my abstract notes and ideas in the notebook, but off the flawless preprinted pages. I stored all my brochures in the pockets for each corresponding section, where they now fall to the side and sometimes to the floor every time I open it. There are zippered clear plastic pouches in the back section, in which I keep all the receipts and contracts, but not enough of those pouches. And it's far too big and cumbersome to lug around with us to all these places of business. My assessment of the wedding planner album? Pert near a total waste of money.

On to Walmart, Michael's, and Hobby Lobby, where we checked out and noted prices of aisle runners, bubbles, favor holders, favors, tulle, and ribbon. We had previously discussed personalized M&M's for favors; yes, these tulle circlets, tied with curled ribbon, will be great for them. Walmart's price was about a third of Oriental Trading's, so we went ahead and got the circlets. The organza ribbon, in all colors of the rainbow, was on half-price sale at Hobby Lobby. Ariel and Belle found a gorgeous shade of lavender, (Belle: "I like purple; I can get a dress in purple.") and we bought plenty of wide (for casual curling on the buffet tables) and thin (for tying those tulle circlets.) Michael's had the folding paper hand fans that Ariel wanted for the outdoor ceremony, but only in white and sandalwood: she wanted bright colored ones, like the ones I had purchased from Oriental Trading several years ago for CornFest. "I haven't been able to find any just like that," I told her. "Oriental Trading doesn't carry this style in the bright colors anymore, and the one place I did find them was WAY too expensive." I'd keep looking.

I was relieved to find that none of the tiaras in any of those stores, though much less expensive than the one we had already bought at David's Bridal, could match its' simple beauty.

Now, a curious thing happened during this little outing: Fred grew quieter and actually began to get involved. "Ethel," he'd call to me, "come look at this." The first time he requested my presence, down at the end of the ribbon aisle, I turned and gave Ariel and Belle a wide-eyed "whaaaaaat?" look, before joining him. By the end of the day, I was accustomed to his open minded inquisitiveness, and he had some genuinely good concepts. In spite of one little setback, where I awoke one day to find a new strict budget scrawled across the back of the phone bill, he has continued to show support for the whole wedding project, and has even come up with some ideas of his own THAT ARE GOING TO COST ADDITIONAL MONEY. Dear ole Fred.

We drove down Wilma Rudolph Boulevard to the office for the Cumberland Room, where we signed the contract, got copies for Ariel and myself, and paid the $492 ($450 for the rental, plus Tennessee's ridiculously high sales tax,) as well as the $500 damage deposit. Woo-hoo!...that's $2000 on my credit card in two days...I'm racking up those points toward my Disneyworld vacation! I expected a phone call from the credit card company later that day. They're really good about keeping an eye out for unusual expenditures on personal accounts.

Now all we had time to do was go to the nearby park that Fred and I had previously found. Fairgrounds Park, on the bank of the Cumberland River, and only four miles from the aptly named Cumberland Room. Of course, the trees were still bare, and the grass was only faintly green, but by July, everything would be in full, delightful, HOT summer glory. We scouted several sites, and Ariel and Belle walked along the river bank a ways. We took pictures, noted that the shelters all had picnic tables bolted to the concrete floors, and observed all the joggers, ballplayers, and unsupervised children running about. Hmmm...maybe, just maybe, Ariel said, our backyard would work, after all. For the ceremony only. Fred was absolutely tickled, of course. If she had the ceremony in the backyard, he promised, he'd rent that fancy white wrought iron heart-shaped arch from Hobby Lobby AND spring for the greenery and ribbon adornments. Oh my goodness. That's $50. And he WANTED to do it. What had happened to my penny-pinching old goat? I guessed that his daughter's happiness was infectious, and that's what really mattered, after all.

Ariel and Belle stopped by our house and we walked the backyard, looking at it from a totally new perspective. This grove of trees, right here, would be perfect for the ceremony. Fred walked it off and found that we would need every inch of that 120 foot long runner from Walmart. I looked up from my position under the trees toward the deck and saw for a moment my daughter, in her new white David's Bridal wedding gown, opening the French doors, stepping out onto the deck, its' white rails draped with tulle and flowers. She paused for a just a moment, then stepped carefully down the staircase, taking Fred's outstretched arm at the last step, and began walking toward me, smiling, glowing. "This grill, though," Ariel questioned, breaking me from my reverie, "what are we gonna do about this?" It's a heavy black cast iron grill that Fred had paid a friend to build shortly after we moved into the house; it's way too far from the back door to be useful, and a hive of wasps claimed it as their home years ago. Unfortunately, it's sunk deep into the ground in a foot of concrete. "Well," I mused, "I guess we could just get rid of it; we hardly ever use it; we always use the gas grill on the deck." Fred set up an immediate protest. We were NOT getting rid of his grill, he said. It was a great grill, he said. He didn't know why we didn't use it more often, he said. We could throw a sheet over it, if we wanted to, but we were NOT getting rid of that grill. "Don't worry, we'll disguise it somehow," I promised Ariel.

Fred was anxious for Ariel to hear some of the musical selections he had been pouring over for the reception. The Chicken Dance, yes that was great. The Hokey Pokey would be fun. Tea For Two was cute. Cotton-Eyed Joe and the Hootchie Kootchie Dance were good, but Ariel didn't care much for Elton John's Dixie Lily. He played snippets of songs I'd never heard, and a fair sprinkling of some I knew. Fred continues to add to the list, and Ariel made her own list on Facebook. She decided Daughters, by John Mayer, would be the perfect father/daughter dance tune. She couldn't have made a better choice: it's one of Fred's favorite songs.

Fred is trying harder to avoid his dance than I did at Charming's wedding. "Wonder if she'd want me to play Daughters on my guitar?" he asked me. "How can you play it AND dance it?" I questioned. Nice try.

Would she like him to call The Pianist, Fred asked Ariel. The Pianist is a former college buddy of Charming's and had played at his wedding. He is highly sought after and has won all kinds of prestigious awards and honors. Sure, Ariel said, that'd be fine, or we could just have a guitar player for the ceremony. Fred called The Pianist, who said no problem, he'd do it. His payment? A meal of my steak and biscuits. Well, for Heaven's sake. OF COURSE, I'll fix him some steak and biscuits; I'll serve them for lunch and send him a couple of dozen home in a freezer chest.

Now, if we could pay for everything associated with the wedding in a like manner, we'd be able to stick by Fred's budget.

It was back to work for me the next night, so our shopping together time was over. Ariel and Belle continued to shop and plan; I continued to plan and browse online; Fred made out that new budget and implored me to stick by it. I glanced at his list -$100 for decorations? Does that include the arch?...no, look, here's the arch down here, he said...and the runner?...no, right here's the runner...and the favors?...yes, of course, that includes the favors...and the flowers?...well, of course, he said; don't tell me you're gonna spend a HUNDRED dollars on flowers. Oh, Lord.

I also saw no mention on there of the plates, cups, cutlery, napkins, soft drinks and tea, appetizers at the ceremony, cake, and tips that we will invariably have to pay.

Belle found a long dress in shades of purple and bought it. Ariel says it's perfect. They found some polka-dotted ballet flats for the bride.

It's okay; they won't show under the dress.

I emailed Ariel so many pictures of incredible wedding cakes; cute cakes, funky cakes, simple cakes, and funny cakes. Nothing traditional; Ariel appreciates a traditionally beautiful cake, but it's just not her style. Thankfully, neither was her style the Hostess Twinkie, Cupcake, and Snowball wedding cake: simply a pile of those cheap treats, removed from their cellophane wrappers, stuck together with God-knows-what, and topped by...was that Elvis and Priscilla? Oh, my.

Wedding cake designers have taken the art to new levels: did you know that you can get a life-sized cake that looks exactly like the bride? I'm not kidding. Or a life-sized COW? Who in the world would want a life-sized COW cake? I checked the website for Michelle Sugar Art Cakes, the company that made that thing, and yep, it was made for a wedding.

I...am totally at a loss for words here.

Ariel found a reasonable facsimile of the cake she envisioned on the Publix website. It's nontraditional, alright, but FUN! The current plan calls for three tiers, square and round, with polka dots, stripes, and some little swirlies. (She pointed out to me that her biggest challenge may be keeping it colorful, while resisting any Suess-ish appearance.) It has a few brightly colored flowers scattered here and there and will be topped by a bride and groom CAT couple. No, you didn't misread that - CAT couple. Like I said, nontraditional.

And, of course, the cake is a little over the budgeted amount. Ariel's budgeted amount, that is. Fred didn't even include the cake in his budget.

There were still so many decisions to be made, so many items to be purchased, so many fine points to examine. We had made a good start, but it was far from over.

Next: Counting Pennies

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