hunker down in the grass in search of four-leaf clovers, pick up all the pennies we could find lying about and throw them into a wishing well, hang a horseshoe on a tree, wish upon falling stars and break apart chicken wishbones, and do an anti-rain dance. I did a Google search for good luck and found several lucky animals: I may import a few ladybugs, but I absolutely refuse to have pigs, tortoises, tigers, red bats, and elephants roaming the back yard during the ceremony. But if any of my guests see a rabbit hopping around on three feet...No, no, of course I wouldn't really do that to my cute little bunnies.
But I think I know where I can BUY a lucky rabbit's foot cheap.
And if all that fails, we'll move the living and dining room furniture into the bedroom and have the ceremony indoors.
I stopped by Kroger on my way home from work one morning, just to get bread and chicken for supper. JUST BREAD AND CHICKEN. Got in there and remembered we were almost out of Tide and Bounce. Back to the front of the store for a buggy, where I glanced at the sale paper and saw that the fancy gourmet cat food Spooky likes was on sale. Decided I might as well stock up. Oooh, I had a coupon for $1.00 off, if I bought twelve cans. Twelve cans times eighty cents per can...yikes, that was $9.60...minus the dollar coupon...$8.60. OUCH. Oh, well, she loves the stuff. Loves? Actually, she's HOOKED on the stuff. Into the buggy went the twelve cans of turkey and greens in a savory broth, whitefish fillets in a delicate sauce, and plenty of tuna varieties in various sauces. I passed by the floral department and realized I had a coupon for a free bunch of alstroemeria that would expire soon.
Picked a bunch of pink ones and grabbed a couple of packets of flower food. Hmmm...what kind of new wedding magazines did they have? Southern Bride had a feature on a bright, colorful wedding; might be some useful ideas in that. I glanced at the price and vowed that would be the very last wedding magazine I ever purchased. (Yeah, we'll see how THAT goes.) Oh, bananas, I needed bananas. And strawberries were on sale, too. I'd make some homemade shortcakes; did I have enough butter? I wasn't sure, so I went by dairy and got a pound of butter. Oh, yeah, we were almost out of buttermilk, and I wasn't sure when I had last checked the date on that white milk carton, shoved way in the back corner of the refrigerator. Into the buggy went the milk. And, if I was gonna make shortcakes, I'd need Cool Whip, too. Going to Kroger can be hazardous to your health. And wallet.
Now for the point of this whole little saga: as I went by the paper goods aisle, I noticed that the strong clear plastic cups and cutlery we needed for the reception were on sale.
And much cheaper than the ones at Party One Superstore. I had conceded a few days prior to this that, given the level of informality Ariel and Eric both insisted upon, real china and silver would regrettably be inappropriate; the NICE clear plastic stuff would actually be perfectly in keeping with the casual theme. I consulted with them, and bought 120 small cups, 200 large cups, 75 each of the spoons and knives, and 125 forks. Also a few really nice looking serving pieces that were on clearance sale for ninety cents a set. I'll probably use my good silver serving pieces in the chafing dishes at the wedding, but those plastic disposables will come in handy somewhere. Forty minutes and $72 later, I pulled out of Kroger's parking lot. Without the chicken.
I'm getting old.
But, at least I saved quite a bit of money on the cups and silver...uh...plasticware. The plates, though, I haven't yet purchased. Party One sells a pack of forty 10" plates for $15 and eighty 7" plates for $10. I found the same brand on Amazon: the 10" plates were cheaper, the 7" more expensive. AND sold in different size packs. Go figure. I decided to wait til we're a little closer and have an exact head count. Ariel decided on thick black napkins; we'll wrap each set of cutlery in a napkin and tie it with a lavender bow.
It has just this moment occurred to me that we'll need several sets of salt and pepper shakers. Oh, I can hear Fred already: "You've got TONS of salt and pepper sets; go look on the top shelves of those cabinets!"
To which I'll say, "Oh yeah? Which ones should we use? All those corn-themed ones? Or the Christmas sets? Or how 'bout Mayberry or Lucy or the Wizard of Oz? Or maybe the Sesame Street ones, or Jeannie and her bottle?" Maybe I won't say that, after all. He's liable to actually pick some of those to use.
Ariel had a grand idea: she found and bought an adorable rubber stamp with a bride and groom stick figure couple, and a purple ink pad. "We can stamp the bottom side of each plate," she explained. "The bride and groom will show through; it's like the plates'll be personalized!" I liked it. The bride and groom stick couple became a theme: she would make her own guest book, using stick figures, and each guest would write a clever little something in one of those cartoon 'bubbles.' Ariel, the first grade teacher, is a master at arts and crafts. She also found, in one of the wedding magazines I had bought last year, bride and groom stick figures TOILET PAPER. "Now, THAT'S something people will remember about a wedding!" she laughed. 
I checked online and found that Oriental Trading seemed to be the cheapest place to get that toilet paper, and I wouldn't really call it cheap: $2.99 per roll, but, thank goodness, I found a code for $10 off the order. Oriental Trading also had brightly colored fans, but they weren't that pretty style that we wanted. Now that purple had emerged as the main color for the wedding, I had an inspiration: "How about the plain white fans that we saw at Michael's, with some of that lavender organza ribbon tied at the handle?" Yes! She finally liked one of my ideas! I found fifty of the white fans at Amazon.com for $39.95; with shipping, they would be 96 cents each. Michael's packages of 18 ran $20, $22 with tax, but if we used their frequent 40% off coupons, we could get them for just 77 cents each. We had a winner!Wendy, Prince Eric's mom, relayed that she'd REALLY like to have a few professional photos. She even volunteered to pay for the photographer. "No," I told Ariel, "I'm not gonna let her pay for that. I'd like to have some nice pictures, too." It seemed such a shame to exclude that important element, especially since we'd spent Fred's entire original budget on the gown. AND since Eric had now decided that he'd wear a tuxedo! (Fred: "I am NOT wearing a tuxedo!" Ariel assured him it wasn't necessary; she wanted Eric to stand out. Boy, will he: I don't think I've ever even seen Eric in a suit.) So, it was settled: we'd hire a photographer, IF we could find a good one who was willing to do it inexpensively. We both did extensive searches, and Ariel made a great find: Once Like a Spark Photography, out of Georgia, did fabulous work, was willing to travel here for free, and would charge only $500 for a two hour session. That would give us getting-ready-for-the-wedding snapshots, as well as the ceremony itself, and some family photos afterwards. The photographer told Ariel we could negotiate for a lengthier package later, if desired. As of now, the plan is to go with white disposable cameras on each table for the reception photos. SURELY we can get a FEW good shots out of some of those. AND, I'll have my digital camera, as well as my $1000 worth of Minolta equipment that I haven't used in years.
Digital is just so easy. And cheap.
Wendy sent a check for half the photographer's fee. And Fred's not actually aware yet that I'm paying the other half. I'll let y'all know later how that one goes over.
"Did y'all know that in many states almost ANYONE can be sworn in to perform a wedding ceremony?" I read aloud to Ariel and Eric. "That's one way we could get your PopPop to come: ask him to do the service," I suggested. Ariel was suddenly enchanted by the thought of her retired newspaper editor grandfather conducting the ceremony. We went online and did a Google search: judges, justices of the peace, preachers, priests, rabbis, mayors, county clerks, county executives, tribal chiefs: no PopPops.
"We could ask Governor Bredesen to do it," I wryly suggested. "Yeah, I'm sure he'll drop whatever he's doing and come right on over," Ariel replied. We did uncover some interesting facts, though. Did you know that in Tennessee, a judge cannot perform a wedding ceremony if he's been convicted of a felony? HUH? Did you know that the license cannot be issued if one or both parties appear to be drunk or an imbecile? Or that both parties must be present for the ceremony, unless one of them is incarcerated? (In that case, the remaining party may marry with a notarized statement; probably makes for a curious ring exchange and first kiss.) Are you aware that in Tennessee, if the couple receives four hours of marriage counseling, the license fee is only $35? But if either the counselor or county feels that they've 'failed' the session, they can still get married - except now it'll cost them $95. And did you know that Tennessee law forbids same sex marriage, but condones marriage between first cousins? Well, THAT explains a lot.
I'd...better not get into that.
After much frustration, Eric finally found a court clerk who was willing to travel to Clarksville and perform the ceremony in the middle of the week. For $125.
The bubbles, I worried; those little bubble vials held soapy water; would bubbles that burst on Ariel's gown make tiny little soap spots? Eric put his two cents in: he'd rather have bird seed than bubbles. Perfect. I've got plenty of birdseed left over from winter. I found that Oriental Trading carries a wide variety of small sacks, at very reasonable prices. My good white eyelet tablecloth can go on the round patio table, and we'll outfit it with a casual floral arrangement, the white fans with lavender ribbons, and the tiny sacks of birdseed.
I cut a coupon out of the Sunday paper for 10% off an entire order of personalized M&M's. I LOVE those things! My sister-in-law presented me with
the first ones I'd ever seen a couple of years ago at my CornFest. It was such a surprising and generous gift, and she did a great job on them: she had them colored to resemble corn kernels - yellow and orange, and personalized them with 'CornFest 07.' I still have an unopened bag down in the basement with all the other CornFest stuff; wonder how long M&M's will keep, anyway? Did you know that you can even put a PHOTO on an M&M?! Yes, it's true! Photos, logos, text. And oh my goodness, I'm in trouble now: they even have DISNEY M&M's! There's one that says 'Believe in Magic,' and another with Tinkerbell's face...I need to stay away from the M&M's website.
We decided we'd get four bags of the personalized M&M's, and supplement them, if necessary, with plain M&M's. I bought two big bags of pastel colored ones at Kroger,
marked down after Easter, WITH a coupon. Total cost: $2.00. I was so proud of myself. Looked at them yesterday and realized they all have bunnies, lambs, and baby chicks on them. Darn. Guess I'll just have to open 'em up and eat 'em.And I just noticed tonight that my 10% off coupon for the personalized M&M's has expired. I guess I'd better get on the ball and order that stuff from Oriental Trading before THAT one expires.
OOOOHHHHH...I'm having so much FUN!
Next: Fred Gets Involved!
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